Look, a snake!

Snake Sign

We had a run in with a snake a couple of days ago. By ‘snake’ I meant a real snake – not a lawyer(thank goodness for that). Anyway, we have a zero tolerance policy towards snakes.

My cat spotted the snake first. It was lazily surveying the serpent thinking whether it needs to get into a rat-sharing arrangement with the snake. This is when my brother spotted it. He was the one who raised the alarm.

Soon my father and I joined the hunt. My father had a reputation of being a ‘snake slayer’. He used to tell tales of the many snakes he killed in his youth. Conveniently, all this alledged snake murders happened before me or my brother were born – so we have no ways to verify his claims.

Together, we soon drew our battle plans – I was Ariel reconnaissance. I was to get on the terrace and try to spot the reptile. Before long, we concluded that it was hiding under a bunch of leaves. Armed with this intelligence, we began the concussion bombing. That is, we threw bricks at it.

When sustained bombing did not produce the intended result, we turned to incendiary bombs. We lit a few old newspapers and dropped it on the hiding place. Don’t worry about the newspaper – it was Malayala Manorama. Burning is the best use for that publication – perhaps even the only use.

After a few minutes, the snake decided that the current location was too ‘hot’. It beat a strategic retreat to another location. We tried following it – but it slipped through our defenses. There is a network of underground tunnels under our house that rats share with this snake. Once it gets into any of these caves, the chances of catching it approaches zero fast. So we decided to give up the search.

We are waiting for it to release a video footage from one of its underground bunkers to the media.

16 thoughts on “Look, a snake!

  1. That’s barbaric! Snakes don’t bother humans unless threatened. It would have simply gone away after some time.

    Leave the poor things alone! Taking pride in the killing of animals that cannot adequate defend themselves is not something to be proud of. It’s this Indian mentality that classifies as snakes as evil based on outdated baseless superstitions. It is our responsibility as educated people to frown upon nonsense like this.

  2. > It’s this Indian mentality that classifies as snakes as evil based on outdated baseless superstitions.
    Thats not Indian superstition – indian superstitions hold those creatures holy.

  3. @Binny – That was funny.
    About MM, can you give some reasons why you dont like it? Also give the names of few Newspapers you would suggest.

    @Marc – If you dont know what you are talking about, just shut up.

  4. That was a truly refreshing, lighthearted piece of art!Your writing is non-convoluted, incisive and fluent;making you come across as someone who speaks with candor.Glad I stumbled on your blog.You certainly charm your way with words, but that never made you much of a snake charmer, eh?

    1. thank you Niyaz !ur reply is cool.Somebody should protect poor snakes.I feel a snake when I struggle to get out of the crowded BMTC buses -afraid of getting down as a last person before crowd getting in..srikantankc bangalore

  5. Hi Binny,

    I am a occasional reader of your blogs 🙂 and I myself blog at olympusmons.blogsome.com

    My friend is on the look out for freelancers to do a website for his company. I had suggested your name. Can you let me know how I can contact you?

    Regards,
    Sabarinath K

  6. @Marc…
    No killing snakes is not what I do
    I would have told Binny not to kill it if I were there.
    There is no pride in killing snakes.
    But some times people kill sankes in India because some are poisonous. Also, we have lots of snakes here in India.

    But I would not appreciate comments like “It’s this Indian mentality that …..”… Who are you? What do you know about Indian mentality? Why are you spreading hatred? You could have refrained yourself from writing something like that. It hurts a lot man.. That is nothing to take pride on either….

    @Binny..
    I agree about MM… I would recommend THE HINDU. I love it.

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